Dear Tasha,
Tomorrow Sydney will be one year and one week old. That's how old Lillian was when you stayed with us for the first time- for the first time for the next 15 months. A few days prior, we had gone to a church BBQ at a friend's house. I knew you were going to be there and I knew that you were staying at a church leader's house because of some problems at home. But I had no idea how the chain of events following our first encounter would change my life forever.
I remember being outside with you during the BBQ while kids jumped around in the inflatable jumper. It was a bright, sunny day. I deliberately sat next to you so I could try to get to know you better. I had no idea who you were until a few days before that, when Bobby briefly mentioned the situation you were in- I know you don't like people knowing your business, but with Bobby being in the Bishopric it was his responsibility. I wanted to help. I felt awkward trying to break the ice. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. You were very quiet and soft spoken, and you didn't open up much or elaborate on any of the answers to my questions. But you smiled a lot and you seemed happy. We invited you over for dinner that Wednesday night. After dinner we would bring you to the church activity, then bring you back to the friends' house where you were staying.
Or so we thought.
You were a chatterbox on Wednesday. You asked me a million questions about a million different things. You seemed particularly interested in cars and driving- how to buy a car, how to pay for a car, what it was like to drive a car. You were curious about everything. I was curious about school and your likes and dislikes. I talked so much that my throat was sore at the end of day. I was thrilled that you had opened up.
Then, during dinner we got a frantic phone call from the friends you were staying with. They had just received a call from DHS saying that your mother didn't know where you were. She was threatening to press charges for kidnapping if you weren't returned home right away. After a bit of chaos, Bobby and I got ourselves together and started driving you to your mom's house. A million thoughts were going through my mind. You started to cry when you told us that you were afraid to go home. Bobby and I couldn't justify dropping you off on your doorstep in tears and driving away from the situation. We called your DHS caseworker and told her what was going on. We refused to bring you home without a DHS escort into the house to assess the situation. She finally agreed to meet us on the side of the road where we had pulled over, just around the corner from your mom's house.
The caseworker didn't seem very sympathetic at first. She tried to convince you to go back home because your mom was worried about you and she missed you. This seemed a little ridiculous to say about a woman who had a history of alcoholism, drug addiction, and neglect, a woman who allowed other family members to physically abuse you, and who hadn't raised you for ten out of your fifteen years of life. You were stubborn and you kept saying no. We offered to go in with you and talk to your mom to let her know that you were safe and that you had a lot of friends who were willing to help out. The caseworker seemed all out of ideas, so she agreed to it.
As we pulled up to your house, I felt like I was taking in the deepest breath of my life- preparing for something unexpected and frightening. We followed you and the caseworker to the door, and as I was about to go in, she told us to wait on the porch- she didn't know what the emotional climate was going to be inside, and she didn't want to upset anyone by bringing us in right away. I felt like I was hiding out and eavesdropping as we stood outside on the porch, out of sight between the window and the door. I felt very out of place. As soon as you walked in the door, it was like a bomb went off. You were verbally attacked by three or four people, who seemed to have been waiting for you to show up- your mother, and at least one sister and one brother. The yelling, the accusations, the cursing, the name calling- all of it was horrible. It was horrible to hear. It was horrible to imagine how it made you feel. It was horrible to imagine you living with it every day. It was horrible to imagine leaving you there to fend for yourself while I went on to my loving and peaceful home.
Bobby was standing behind me and he wrapped his arms around my shoulders when I started to cry quietly- while standing there on the porch listening to everything that was going on inside. I wanted to burst in and haul you out and away to safety. I wanted to yell everyone who was yelling at you. I wanted to scream at the caseworker for bringing you back here. I wanted to overturn all of the injustices that had brought you to this moment in your young life.
I was surprised at how quickly- and how loudly- you responded to your attackers. You yelled right back at them- not with the same language- but with just as much vengeance and force. Your survival instincts emerged when you were in a hostile environment. How else could you have survived in it for so long?
I don't know how long we stood there- silent on the outside- while hatred roared on the inside. I think things had calmed down a little bit by the time we decided we were never going to be invited to go in. I think the caseworker even stepped out for a moment to tell us to go home. I'm sure we lingered a bit longer. Then, feeling completely useless, we slowly walked down the steps, away from the house, and toward the car. We felt uneasy driving away. Bobby did a u-turn at the end of the street to circle back around and pass by the house to see if you and the caseworker were out yet. Nothing. We did it again. This time, we noticed you sitting in the backseat of the caseworker's DHS van.
She flagged us down and told us that you had threatened to run away if she left you there. (Good for you! I thought). She was trying to figure out who you could stay with that night. We immediately offered our house. She needed DHS authorization and your mother's authorization since you were still under her legal care. She said she would go back and talk to your mom to try to convince her that this would be the best situation- for you to stay with us for the night. You told the caseworker to get your mom outside and away from your siblings. Your mom was usually more rational when she didn't have other people interjecting their own opinions.
We waited around the corner, in the car, while you sat in the DHS van and the caseworker talked to your mom. Never in my life have I ever prayed so intently and so earnestly as I did that night. I prayed for the caseworker to say the right things to your mom to convince her to let you stay with us; I prayed for your mom to realize what was best for you; I prayed for angels from heaven to surround her to comfort her and help her agree with the caseworker. In the end, your mom agreed. DHS gave us an oral authorization to let you stay with us. You got back in our car and we took you home.
And so began the fifteen most challenging, most rewarding, and most character building months of my life.
I'm sure you remember the evening much differently. But I wanted you to hear it from my perspective, since I don't think I ever really told you. I'm grateful for the seemingly unimportant events- a BBQ and a Wednesday night dinner invitation- that lead us to a life-long influential event. I'm thankful for the quiet inspirations of the Spirit that guided us through the experience. I'm thankful for you.
I love you and I miss you.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Heavenly Messenger
This was Lillian's lunch time prayer today:
Dear Heavly Fodder, thank you eating wunch, thank you Charlotte, thank you getting pwesent for her, thank you watching Ratatouille, thank you Daddy at school, thank you I miss him. Name of Jesus Kweist, Amen.
Bless her little heart.
Dear Heavly Fodder, thank you eating wunch, thank you Charlotte, thank you getting pwesent for her, thank you watching Ratatouille, thank you Daddy at school, thank you I miss him. Name of Jesus Kweist, Amen.
Bless her little heart.
Friday, August 20, 2010
The Castle on the Hill
Dear Tasha,
I drove past Overbrook High School today. It was this month two years ago that we drove all over Philadelphia together, trying to get you enrolled in school. I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that I wanted you in the best school possible. I have to admit that I got very frustrated. I felt like I was on a wild goose chase, not knowing which way to go or even where I was.
I didn't understand a lot of things.
I didn't understand why you said you were supposed to be in 10th grade, but all of your records said you were in 9th grade. I didn't understand why you denied going to a particular middle school that was listed on all of your transcripts. I didn't understand why you had to go to the neighborhood school that had dismally low test scores, horrible attendance rates, and frequent suspensions.
I didn't understand why you were enrolled in kindergarten a year late, then held back to repeat kindergarten a second year- making you two whole academic years behind your peers. I didn't understand how you managed to make decent, passing grades throughout elementary and middle school, while going in and out of the foster system, dealing with abuse, and changing schools every few years. I didn't understand how anyone could give up on you or not want the best for you.
I still wonder about all of those things. I will probably never know the real answer to most of them, which I tried to come to terms with when you were living with us. Instead of dwelling on your past and everything I had no control over, I tried to focus on your future and how I could help.
Eventually, we managed to get you into a different school. Mostly because of Bobby's adamant determination to change things and my endless worrying about your education. The school was new. The teachers were educated. It made us feel better. You didn't like the uniform or the mascot. But you did like the laptop they gave you (except for the bright orange bubble case it came with), and some of your teachers. It still wasn't the best education, but it was by far the best option under those circumstances.
I could go on forever about this. Instead of rambling, though, I'll just get to the point of why I feel like I need to get all of this out- I still worry about you and the quality of education that you're getting. A few nights ago I had a dream about you. (I dream about you a lot, but I'll save that for another time). In the dream, we were talking. It felt like I hadn't seen you in a long time and I was very happy to be with you (and for some reason your hair was in a weird short style- nothing like the long braids you usually had- but that's not relevant). Anyway, you were telling me that, since you moved, you hadn't been able to get back into Arise Academy where you went last year. You were having trouble getting into a new school. You were getting frustrated by it and were about ready to give up on it and not graduate. I tried to convince you how important it was to go to school and graduate and how it would be impossible to do anything with your life if you dropped out. I hugged you tight, and while I cried on your shoulder, I begged you not to give up.
By now you would be telling me not to get all mushy, mushy on you. :) I'm sorry that I care so much. :) In the last note you gave us, you said that you were advanced to the 12th grade and that you wanted to go to medical school like Bobby. You are capable. Don't let anyone deter you from your path. Bobby and I will always be here- encouraging you, pushing you, and expecting you to do your best.
love,
Amanda
I drove past Overbrook High School today. It was this month two years ago that we drove all over Philadelphia together, trying to get you enrolled in school. I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that I wanted you in the best school possible. I have to admit that I got very frustrated. I felt like I was on a wild goose chase, not knowing which way to go or even where I was.
I didn't understand a lot of things.
I didn't understand why you said you were supposed to be in 10th grade, but all of your records said you were in 9th grade. I didn't understand why you denied going to a particular middle school that was listed on all of your transcripts. I didn't understand why you had to go to the neighborhood school that had dismally low test scores, horrible attendance rates, and frequent suspensions.
I didn't understand why you were enrolled in kindergarten a year late, then held back to repeat kindergarten a second year- making you two whole academic years behind your peers. I didn't understand how you managed to make decent, passing grades throughout elementary and middle school, while going in and out of the foster system, dealing with abuse, and changing schools every few years. I didn't understand how anyone could give up on you or not want the best for you.
I still wonder about all of those things. I will probably never know the real answer to most of them, which I tried to come to terms with when you were living with us. Instead of dwelling on your past and everything I had no control over, I tried to focus on your future and how I could help.
Eventually, we managed to get you into a different school. Mostly because of Bobby's adamant determination to change things and my endless worrying about your education. The school was new. The teachers were educated. It made us feel better. You didn't like the uniform or the mascot. But you did like the laptop they gave you (except for the bright orange bubble case it came with), and some of your teachers. It still wasn't the best education, but it was by far the best option under those circumstances.
I could go on forever about this. Instead of rambling, though, I'll just get to the point of why I feel like I need to get all of this out- I still worry about you and the quality of education that you're getting. A few nights ago I had a dream about you. (I dream about you a lot, but I'll save that for another time). In the dream, we were talking. It felt like I hadn't seen you in a long time and I was very happy to be with you (and for some reason your hair was in a weird short style- nothing like the long braids you usually had- but that's not relevant). Anyway, you were telling me that, since you moved, you hadn't been able to get back into Arise Academy where you went last year. You were having trouble getting into a new school. You were getting frustrated by it and were about ready to give up on it and not graduate. I tried to convince you how important it was to go to school and graduate and how it would be impossible to do anything with your life if you dropped out. I hugged you tight, and while I cried on your shoulder, I begged you not to give up.
By now you would be telling me not to get all mushy, mushy on you. :) I'm sorry that I care so much. :) In the last note you gave us, you said that you were advanced to the 12th grade and that you wanted to go to medical school like Bobby. You are capable. Don't let anyone deter you from your path. Bobby and I will always be here- encouraging you, pushing you, and expecting you to do your best.
love,
Amanda
Little Steps
The record stands at three. That's how many steps Sydney has taken unassisted before losing her balance and falling over or deciding that was far enough and plopping down on her diaper-padded bottom. She took those first little steps tonight when Bobby and I were bribing her with a little toy doctor kit to go back and forth between us (she had been carrying the bag around with her all night long- it's currently one of her favorites). I think she'll have the walking thing down before her first birthday in three weeks. Between this new mode of transportation and her tooth coming in, I'd say it's been a big week for the little girl!
(She has also been climbing on EVERYTHING. Over the couch, up the back of the yellow Fisher Price chairs, up the box onto the kitchen set, on the rocking chair, on the toy lion, up the side of Lillian's bed to get into it.....everything. She either wants to peek out the window, or she wants a better view of what's going on below. Her acrobatics are going to give her mom a heart attack.)
(She has also been climbing on EVERYTHING. Over the couch, up the back of the yellow Fisher Price chairs, up the box onto the kitchen set, on the rocking chair, on the toy lion, up the side of Lillian's bed to get into it.....everything. She either wants to peek out the window, or she wants a better view of what's going on below. Her acrobatics are going to give her mom a heart attack.)
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Toothless No More!
Bobby made a monumental discovery tonight- Sydney is FINALLY getting her FIRST TOOTH!! After 11 1/2 months she decided it's about time she be able to bite into something instead of gum it into a mushy mess. The baby pearly white is the top front right tooth (sorry to all the dentists, I don't know the official position name), and it looks like there might be more coming, too.
So she'll have at least one tooth before her first birthday after all. You go girl.
So she'll have at least one tooth before her first birthday after all. You go girl.
Monday, August 9, 2010
We Miss Our Neighbors
Because there's nothing like an early Monday morning, watching the trash truck go by from your bedroom window with your best friends. :)
We miss you lots!! We can't wait til next week!
We miss you lots!! We can't wait til next week!
Friday, August 6, 2010
The Big 0-3
Lillian turned three a couple of weeks ago so it's about time I told you about it. Apparently, 3 is a magic number. Lillian can now do everything by herself. Any time I try to help her with something like put on her shoes or wash her hands she says, "Mom, I can do it by my own! I thwee!" Today she asked me to help her lock the baby lock on the kitchen cabinet. Before I could get to her, she figured it out. She turned to me and said, "I got it! I thwee." That explains it all.
Being three also makes a difference when you go to the dentist. Six months ago Lillian kicked and screamed when they tried to take pictures of her teeth and we had to practically hold her down while they cleaned her teeth and fixed her cavity (which I'm ashamed to say she had, but I blame it on her bad teeth genes). This week she had her 6-month check-up and she was a champ!! She sat in the chair all by herself and played with the chair up/down button. She chatted with the hygienist and the dentist and she even let them use Mr. Thirsty (remember him?!). Wow, what a difference six months make.
I'm still waiting for the three-year-old magic to kick-in in the temper tantrum department. That's one area where we haven't seen any progress yet. Oh well.
To celebrate the special day, Grandma B, Mommy, and Sydney took Lillian to the Crayola Factory in Easton, PA (it was a hike, but worth it!!).
So many crayons!!
There was also a free Canal Museum that was lots of fun.
The tiller made the floor rotate, simulating a boat.
It was Lilly's favorite part of the museum.
When we got home we had Lillian's favorite foods for dinner- flower noodles with butter, shrimp, edamame, cheese, and olives (she has such refined taste).
Then she tore into her presents.
We sang Happy Birthday, she blew out candles, and we all enjoyed some birthday cupcakes.
We couldn't get enough of birthday festivities, so on Saturday we had a little birthday party. There was more cake and ice cream and lots of birthday fun.
Happy Birthday, Big Girl!!
Being three also makes a difference when you go to the dentist. Six months ago Lillian kicked and screamed when they tried to take pictures of her teeth and we had to practically hold her down while they cleaned her teeth and fixed her cavity (which I'm ashamed to say she had, but I blame it on her bad teeth genes). This week she had her 6-month check-up and she was a champ!! She sat in the chair all by herself and played with the chair up/down button. She chatted with the hygienist and the dentist and she even let them use Mr. Thirsty (remember him?!). Wow, what a difference six months make.
I'm still waiting for the three-year-old magic to kick-in in the temper tantrum department. That's one area where we haven't seen any progress yet. Oh well.
To celebrate the special day, Grandma B, Mommy, and Sydney took Lillian to the Crayola Factory in Easton, PA (it was a hike, but worth it!!).
So many crayons!!
The tiller made the floor rotate, simulating a boat.It was Lilly's favorite part of the museum.
When we got home we had Lillian's favorite foods for dinner- flower noodles with butter, shrimp, edamame, cheese, and olives (she has such refined taste).
Then she tore into her presents.
We sang Happy Birthday, she blew out candles, and we all enjoyed some birthday cupcakes.
We couldn't get enough of birthday festivities, so on Saturday we had a little birthday party. There was more cake and ice cream and lots of birthday fun.
Happy Birthday, Big Girl!!Thursday, August 5, 2010
Tacos
Dear Tasha,
We had tacos for dinner last night. It reminded me of you because tacos were your favorite thing to have for dinner. It was one of the first meals we had together; you stuffed yourself with six whole tacos and had a stomach ache afterward. Later you told me that the reason you like tacos so much is the conversation they create around the dinner table- there are so many toppings sitting all over the table, that in order to get what you want, you have to ask, "will you please pass the ____" and, "could you pass the ____ please." This interaction and passing around of food was appealing to you. I always thought that was endearing.
Little things like this remind me of you on a daily basis. I'm not the only one who remembers. Lillian saw a blow dryer in the YMCA bathroom a few days ago. As she blow dried her hair she said, "Tasha have a pink one!" She frequently asks me, "Where Tasha? Where her bed?"
I ask myself the same questions. I wonder where you are, who you're with, how you're feeling, if you're safe....if you're thinking of me. If you know that I'm thinking of you.
I miss you.
My relationship with you made me a better person and it made our family stronger.
I wish I knew how you were doing.
No matter how much time goes by, I will always want to hear from you.
I love you,
Amanda
We had tacos for dinner last night. It reminded me of you because tacos were your favorite thing to have for dinner. It was one of the first meals we had together; you stuffed yourself with six whole tacos and had a stomach ache afterward. Later you told me that the reason you like tacos so much is the conversation they create around the dinner table- there are so many toppings sitting all over the table, that in order to get what you want, you have to ask, "will you please pass the ____" and, "could you pass the ____ please." This interaction and passing around of food was appealing to you. I always thought that was endearing.
Little things like this remind me of you on a daily basis. I'm not the only one who remembers. Lillian saw a blow dryer in the YMCA bathroom a few days ago. As she blow dried her hair she said, "Tasha have a pink one!" She frequently asks me, "Where Tasha? Where her bed?"
I ask myself the same questions. I wonder where you are, who you're with, how you're feeling, if you're safe....if you're thinking of me. If you know that I'm thinking of you.
I miss you.
My relationship with you made me a better person and it made our family stronger.
I wish I knew how you were doing.
No matter how much time goes by, I will always want to hear from you.
I love you,
Amanda
Monday, July 12, 2010
Photographer In Training
Lillian is a budding photographer! All of her practice is paying off- no more knee shots or cut-off foreheads! Here is some of her recent work:
Here are some that Mommy and Daddy caught:
So...who's ready to book a session? :)
Here are some that Mommy and Daddy caught:
So...who's ready to book a session? :)
State of Emergency
I found this photo on my camera today. It's from a couple of months ago.
Holy smokes! It looks like Hurricane Lillian passed through in full force. President Obama must have declared a Federal State of Emergency that day. I'm still waiting for relief efforts to arrive . . .
Holy smokes! It looks like Hurricane Lillian passed through in full force. President Obama must have declared a Federal State of Emergency that day. I'm still waiting for relief efforts to arrive . . .
Friday, July 9, 2010
Poo-Pee-Palooza
Sydney has been on a roll lately. Yesterday she sprinkled me with a fountain of pee while I was changing her diaper. Later that afternoon she soaked her carseat with pee (in her defense though, she was wearing a swimmie diaper because she was on her way to the pool....proves every mom's theory that swimmies don't hold a darn thing).
But today was the kicker. I finally got the girls and the jogging stroller loaded in the car and we were heading out for a nice, leisurely jog down by the river. I heard Sydney grunting in her carseat behind me, which was soon followed by the unmistakable smell of poo. No big deal, I thought- BEFORE I saw the mess. Sydney blew the poop straight out the right side of her diaper, all over her leg, her arm, and even some on her face!! Ewwww! I drove right back home, stripped her down and put her in the bath tub. So much for my jog. Too bad the effort alone isn't enough to burn the calories.
But today was the kicker. I finally got the girls and the jogging stroller loaded in the car and we were heading out for a nice, leisurely jog down by the river. I heard Sydney grunting in her carseat behind me, which was soon followed by the unmistakable smell of poo. No big deal, I thought- BEFORE I saw the mess. Sydney blew the poop straight out the right side of her diaper, all over her leg, her arm, and even some on her face!! Ewwww! I drove right back home, stripped her down and put her in the bath tub. So much for my jog. Too bad the effort alone isn't enough to burn the calories.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Adoption
I got an urgent phone message from a case worker from the foster agency that we used to work with. Our file has been closed for about seven months, but they were desperate for help. They have a little boy who just turned five who has been living with his very elderly great-great grandma and great grandma (70 and 90 years old). The agency and the state don't think that's a good environment for the little boy, so they want to place him in another home. His mother's rights have already been terminated and his father has an abusive record. No one else in the family is able to take him in. He's already been bounced around four or five foster homes. The little boy is Caucasian, so they want to place him with a Caucasian family who is interested in adoption. We were the only Caucasian foster family on record with the agency. I wish we were in a position to help, because it breaks my heart to think about that little boy and the situation he's been forced into. I just want to wrap my arms around him and make him feel safe and secure.
I know this is a total long shot, but I'm just wondering if anyone knows anyone who is interested in adoption and would be interested in taking this little boy in as a foster child (with the possibility of adoption). Unfortunately, I don't know anything else about the little boy, except that the case worker said he doesn't have any medical conditions (I don't know if that includes psychological/behavioral problems). I do know that if you go from foster care to adoption, the state will pay for all of the legal fees associated with the adoption. They will also expedite the process of approving you as a foster parent.
If anyone is interested, please let me know and I can put you in touch with the case worker who called me.
I know this is a total long shot, but I'm just wondering if anyone knows anyone who is interested in adoption and would be interested in taking this little boy in as a foster child (with the possibility of adoption). Unfortunately, I don't know anything else about the little boy, except that the case worker said he doesn't have any medical conditions (I don't know if that includes psychological/behavioral problems). I do know that if you go from foster care to adoption, the state will pay for all of the legal fees associated with the adoption. They will also expedite the process of approving you as a foster parent.
If anyone is interested, please let me know and I can put you in touch with the case worker who called me.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Silly Comcast
FOLLOW-UP 5/8/10: I made it back to the Service Center to try to get yet another modem. However, after standing in line, the only thing that the lady behind the scary bullet-proof glass said was, "Those are the only types of modems that we have." I feel bad for all the other poor souls out there who have taken the advice from the service tech on the phone and tried to get a "new" modem from the Service Center. I wouldn't be surprised if they turn around and give my old, broken modem to the next sucker who goes in there, AFTER I emphasized the fact that it was old and it didn't work. I'm no Comcast customer care specialist or anything, but it just doesn't seem smart to hand out old, turned-in modems to people who need new ones. Did you ever stop to think about WHY the person was turning in the modem in the first place? Maybe that's too much to ask....
Despite all my efforts to fix the problem before Wednesday, we were left with no choice but to wait for the tech guy to come to the house for an appointment. I think he was sent straight from heaven. He arrived on time and he got the job done. He even checked out our wires and switched out the unnecessary splitters so our internet connection would be faster. Thank goodness for reliable technicians with real, brand-new modems.
Our modem is working like a charm. However, we have yet to get the wireless router and Vonage to work. Oh well. You can't hope for too much at once, I guess.
- - - - - - -
Comcast wins the "that was dumb" award this week. Our internet has been cutting out several times a day for the past few weeks. I called tech service on Sunday and they said a tech couldn't come to the house until Wednesday morning to look at it. That was too long to wait, so I found a babysitter for the girls and went to the service center in the shady part of town to turn in our old modem for a new one since the tech lady on the phone said it was getting a weak signal.
I proudly came home with our "new" modem and Bobby got to work setting it up. After 45 minutes on the phone with Comcast trying to get the modem registered and working, we finally got an internet signal. I fired up Firefox and watched in dismay as google.com took more than 10 seconds to load, got stuck in middle of the Google sign, then finally finished loading. It was slower than dial-up!!!
It turns out that they gave us the same modem that we had FIVE years ago when we first signed up with Comcast! So we got an even older modem to replace the modem that they told us was too old. Go figure. Way to go, Comcast. That's what I call intelligent customer service. So guess what I'll be doing AGAIN today? The nice thing, I must note, is that we will be credited one month's billing fee for the inconvenience- now that's good customer service. If only the rest of Comcast could figure it out.
Now I will click on "Publish Post" and wait 10 minutes for the slower-than-heck internet to do it's work. Geez, I've become so dependent on fast internet....
Despite all my efforts to fix the problem before Wednesday, we were left with no choice but to wait for the tech guy to come to the house for an appointment. I think he was sent straight from heaven. He arrived on time and he got the job done. He even checked out our wires and switched out the unnecessary splitters so our internet connection would be faster. Thank goodness for reliable technicians with real, brand-new modems.
Our modem is working like a charm. However, we have yet to get the wireless router and Vonage to work. Oh well. You can't hope for too much at once, I guess.
- - - - - - -
Comcast wins the "that was dumb" award this week. Our internet has been cutting out several times a day for the past few weeks. I called tech service on Sunday and they said a tech couldn't come to the house until Wednesday morning to look at it. That was too long to wait, so I found a babysitter for the girls and went to the service center in the shady part of town to turn in our old modem for a new one since the tech lady on the phone said it was getting a weak signal.
I proudly came home with our "new" modem and Bobby got to work setting it up. After 45 minutes on the phone with Comcast trying to get the modem registered and working, we finally got an internet signal. I fired up Firefox and watched in dismay as google.com took more than 10 seconds to load, got stuck in middle of the Google sign, then finally finished loading. It was slower than dial-up!!!
It turns out that they gave us the same modem that we had FIVE years ago when we first signed up with Comcast! So we got an even older modem to replace the modem that they told us was too old. Go figure. Way to go, Comcast. That's what I call intelligent customer service. So guess what I'll be doing AGAIN today? The nice thing, I must note, is that we will be credited one month's billing fee for the inconvenience- now that's good customer service. If only the rest of Comcast could figure it out.
Now I will click on "Publish Post" and wait 10 minutes for the slower-than-heck internet to do it's work. Geez, I've become so dependent on fast internet....
Friday, April 30, 2010
Hey, Cuz!
Yesterday we were lucky to get a visit from Grandma BB, Aunt Amy, Becca, Abigail, and Sam (or Sam-Sam as Lillian calls him). Lillian and Sydney are so lucky to have cousins!!
Friday, March 26, 2010
My Baby Blues
And by "baby blues" I don't mean the emotional state a lot of women get after having a new baby (although I've definitely had my fair share of all that- but that's another post another time). I'm talking about the beautiful blue eyes that my two little girls have. I just can't get enough of them!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
An Eventful Wednesday
Wednesday was a big day for Sydney and Lillian. Sydney turned 6 months old and Lillian got her first haircut (after 2 1/2 years, it was about time)!!
To celebrate Sydney's half-birthday, we had a little photo shoot.
Then we went to the park and she took her first ride in the swings!
At dinner, we decorated a blueberry pancake with a whipped cream number 6 and stuck a candle in it. We figured she should have half a candle for her age and half a candle for good luck, making one whole candle! We sang Happy Birthday and Lillian helped her blow out the candle.
Then Sydney stuck her hand in the whipped cream and snatched out the candle- she must be practicing for the big cake in six more months!
Sydney is almost sitting up on her own. She can hold herself up for a few seconds before she slowly starts to slump to one side, then bottoms out on the floor! She grabs for everything in sight and anything she manages to get a hold of, she tries to put in her mouth. She drools 10 gallons a day and soaks the fronts of all her shirts. Most of her hair from birth has fallen out, but it's starting to grow back on top in fuzzy little tufts. The back of her head is still quite bald (and slightly lop-sided), but she's still CUTE and we love her LOTS!!
Lillian was a champ through her haircut. We turned on the TV, gave her a lollipop, and plopped her in the chair.
Two lollipops and a handful of marshmallows later, she was nicely trimmed up with a cute little flipped-out do. If only I had the patience and the know-how to make her look that cute every day!
I've been keeping track of some of the things Lillian says. She's really exploring the English language and coming up with her own grammatical structures and phrases. Here are some of my favorites (with translations when needed):
To celebrate Sydney's half-birthday, we had a little photo shoot.
Then we went to the park and she took her first ride in the swings!
At dinner, we decorated a blueberry pancake with a whipped cream number 6 and stuck a candle in it. We figured she should have half a candle for her age and half a candle for good luck, making one whole candle! We sang Happy Birthday and Lillian helped her blow out the candle.
Then Sydney stuck her hand in the whipped cream and snatched out the candle- she must be practicing for the big cake in six more months!
Sydney is almost sitting up on her own. She can hold herself up for a few seconds before she slowly starts to slump to one side, then bottoms out on the floor! She grabs for everything in sight and anything she manages to get a hold of, she tries to put in her mouth. She drools 10 gallons a day and soaks the fronts of all her shirts. Most of her hair from birth has fallen out, but it's starting to grow back on top in fuzzy little tufts. The back of her head is still quite bald (and slightly lop-sided), but she's still CUTE and we love her LOTS!!
Lillian was a champ through her haircut. We turned on the TV, gave her a lollipop, and plopped her in the chair.
Two lollipops and a handful of marshmallows later, she was nicely trimmed up with a cute little flipped-out do. If only I had the patience and the know-how to make her look that cute every day!
BEFORE
AFTER
I've been keeping track of some of the things Lillian says. She's really exploring the English language and coming up with her own grammatical structures and phrases. Here are some of my favorites (with translations when needed):
"I can't how to do it!"
[I don't know how to do it!]
"I'm big just a little bit."
"I don't want to maybe."
"You wanna get 3 like me and go pwekool?!"
[Do you want to turn 3 like me next year so you can go to preschool, too?!]
"Don't wash my haircut!"
"I can touch him. He not wild like a bear."
[Referring to the 9-month old I babysat this morning.]
"My birthday on July, on summertime."
"She tired, pwobawee."
[Sydney is probably crying because she's tired, Mommy.
You should put her to bed so we can go play together.]
[I don't know how to do it!]
"I'm big just a little bit."
"I don't want to maybe."
"You wanna get 3 like me and go pwekool?!"
[Do you want to turn 3 like me next year so you can go to preschool, too?!]
"Don't wash my haircut!"
"I can touch him. He not wild like a bear."
[Referring to the 9-month old I babysat this morning.]
"My birthday on July, on summertime."
"She tired, pwobawee."
[Sydney is probably crying because she's tired, Mommy.
You should put her to bed so we can go play together.]
I love my girls!!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
"It's hard, but it's worth it!"
I'm borrowing a Winsor Pilates DVD from a friend. I have to stretch myself along the small space between the TV and the couch in our very small living room in order to do the exercises. Even then, I can't fully extend my legs for the scissor kicks or the big circles that I'm supposed to draw in the air with my foot. However, it's still a good work-out! Just when my buns are beginning to burn so bad I want to stop, Mari Winsor says, "I know it's hard, but it's worth it! Keep going!" When I heard her say that this morning, I immediately thought to myself- hey, that sounds a lot like motherhood. It's hard as heck sometimes, but it's the most gratifying thing I've ever done. So all I can do is "keep going!" (and by that I don't mean keep having more babies...just keep going with each day! Just thought I should clarify!) :) So, thank you, Mari Winsor, for giving me my new daily motto. When the day gets tough I start chanting to myself, "It's hard, but it's worth it! It's hard, but it's worth it! Keep going! Keep going!" If it can help me get through a hard day, maybe it can help tone my buns, too.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
In Our Hearts and On Our Minds
Little Charlotte Amalie has been on my mind a lot lately. She decided to make an early entrance into this world on Sunday- at only 24 weeks, 2 days gestational period and weighing 1.2 lbs, 11 inches long. I had the privilege to see her today and she is the tiniest, most precious and delicate thing I've ever seen. I've been thinking a lot about her mom, too, and how she is such an example of strength and optimism. Charlotte has a wonderful mommy, daddy, and big brother who love her very much. Her friends love her, too.
I told Lillian that I was going to visit her today. I told her that she's at the hospital so the doctors can take care of her. Lillian got concerned and asked, "Charlotte have legs? Charlotte have eyes? Charlotte have a bum?" Yes, Charlotte has all those things, I told her. Then she asked, "I hold her?" When she gets bigger and stronger, I said, but for now we can blow her kisses! So we both blew kisses out the window. While I was away, Lillian stayed home with Grandma and drew some pictures for Charlotte. On one of them she had my mom write, "To Charlotte's Mommy: I love Charlotte. I hope you get better." Children are so precious.
We love you, Charlotte, and you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers every day.
I told Lillian that I was going to visit her today. I told her that she's at the hospital so the doctors can take care of her. Lillian got concerned and asked, "Charlotte have legs? Charlotte have eyes? Charlotte have a bum?" Yes, Charlotte has all those things, I told her. Then she asked, "I hold her?" When she gets bigger and stronger, I said, but for now we can blow her kisses! So we both blew kisses out the window. While I was away, Lillian stayed home with Grandma and drew some pictures for Charlotte. On one of them she had my mom write, "To Charlotte's Mommy: I love Charlotte. I hope you get better." Children are so precious.
We love you, Charlotte, and you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers every day.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Five Years of Marital Bliss
On January 29th Bobby and I hit our 5 year mark- hurray! We went out to eat at a nice Thai restaurant in Old City called Pad Thai. If you're in the area, it's definitely worth a visit.
While we reminisced over the past five years, we thought about all the different accomplishments we've made and all the things we've done together. Here's what we came up with (not in any type of order of relevance or importance!):
1. Completed 2 bachelor's degrees, 1 master's degree, and 3/4 of medical school
2. Bought (and renovated) a house
3. Moved 5 times
4. Doubled the size of our family with two beautiful daughters
5. Visited some exciting places- Nauvoo, IL; Palmyra, NY; California (twice!); Salt Lake City (twice!); Chicago; and lots of other places in between
6. Bought 2 cars, 1 van, and 1 scooter. Sold the car that Bobby brought into the marriage and one of the cars we bought later.
7. Held 11 different jobs (6 for Bobby, 5 for me!)
8. And the list is still growing!
While we reminisced over the past five years, we thought about all the different accomplishments we've made and all the things we've done together. Here's what we came up with (not in any type of order of relevance or importance!):
1. Completed 2 bachelor's degrees, 1 master's degree, and 3/4 of medical school
2. Bought (and renovated) a house
3. Moved 5 times
4. Doubled the size of our family with two beautiful daughters
5. Visited some exciting places- Nauvoo, IL; Palmyra, NY; California (twice!); Salt Lake City (twice!); Chicago; and lots of other places in between
6. Bought 2 cars, 1 van, and 1 scooter. Sold the car that Bobby brought into the marriage and one of the cars we bought later.
7. Held 11 different jobs (6 for Bobby, 5 for me!)
8. And the list is still growing!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The Past 3 Months
Now that it's been over 3 months since my last post, I figure it's about time I wrote something new. (Thanks for the motivation, Marla!) So let's see . . . what's new?
Lillian hit the 2 1/2 year-old mark on January 23 (just one day after my 27th birthday, which we'll get back to in a moment). She can't wait to be 3 years old so she can go to preschool (or "pwe-kool" as she calls it), just like her best friend Lydia. She reminds me several times a day that she's 2 years old, just in case I forgot, I guess! Then she says, "I be three on my next birthday, like E-ya (aka Lydia). I go pwe-kool like E-ya!" We saw Lydia this afternoon right before she left for her preschool. After we walked her to her car and went into our house, Lillian got really sad and she said, "I want to be three." I told her that I was happy that she was 2, it's a good age to be. As hard as the terrible two's can be on both of us, I don't want my little girl to grow up too fast. The thought of having her gone all day in preschool is enough to make me want to play kitchen set and doctor kit with her all day long just so I can enjoy the time while I have it with her. I've been debating about what to do in the fall when she'll be 3 and could go to preschool. As far as I understand, the Head Start program would be free, but they're all-day, Monday-Friday. That seems like too much for a little one who just turned 3. A friend has offered doing a shared pre-school teaching sort of thing where we would switch off every other week teaching a lesson a few times a week. That could work for the first year, I think. Then when Lilly is 4 I might be ready to ship her off to "real" preschool. I'm afraid she'll be disappointed with "home school pre-school," though. Do you see how this little 2 1/2 year old already runs my life?? :)
Over Christmas break Lillian practically potty trained herself. She now wears big girl underwear and is very proud of it. She still has the occasional accident (like peeing on the floor in nursery during church. I didn't have a change of clothes for her, so she had to go through the rest of church wearing only a shirt, a borrowed pair of underwear from a friend, and her tights that she thankfully wasn't wearing when she piddled on the floor. Aaah, that was a proud Mommy moment for me...). Anyways, I'm very proud of Lillian and the progress she's made. I ask her a lot if she has to go potty and I always emphasize that she should tell me or another adult when she has to go so she won't have an accident, so all day today she kept telling me, "Mommy, you tell me when you have to to potty, ok? Mommy, you have to go potty?" I had to keep telling her no, that I was fine! She's a fire pistol of energy, from the minute she wakes up until the second before she falls asleep at night (and she's starting to outgrow her afternoon naps, darn it!), but I love her a ton, even when I don't have the energy to keep up with her.
Sydney is my sweet little smiler. If she's not sleeping or eating, she's smiling and laughing. The biggest thing that gets her going is when Lillian jumps out and surprises her and starts laughing in front of her- that cracks her up every time! She's already 5 1/2 months old, and she's growing so fast! She's developed so much in just the past few weeks- grabbing her toes and putting them in her mouth, reaching for everything, rolling over (and over and over), responding to her name and other voices, and she's even started eating some fruits! She had a well visit a few weeks ago, and she weighed in at 12 lbs, 9 oz and was 23.5 inches long. That puts her in the 25th percentile, which is much bigger than Lillian was- such a relief for Mommy!
Around Christmas time, Sydney and I started having trouble with breastfeeding. She didn't seem to be satisfied during or after most feedings and she was fussier than normal during the day. By January I was supplementing with formula to make up for what I couldn't provide. I tried everything I could to increase my supply- I chugged fennel tea, drank tons of water, took more naps, pumped after every feeding, and tried to be less stressed (hah, like that ever works!). Luckily, we were staying with family, so they were able to help me. But when we returned home to our normal routine at the end of the month, I couldn't hold on any more. Sydney wasn't happy and neither was I because each feeding was so stressful. I cried the night that I realized I couldn't breastfeed any more, but after the next day of going formula-only (with a few scant ounces that I was able to pump), Sydney was so much happier, and what a relief that was! We're both feeling much better about the whole thing, and I feel like I've bonded with her more than ever over the past few weeks. I love how her eyes crinkle in the corners when she smiles- just like her Daddy!
Enough about the kids- what about us adults? We spent half of December and all of January bouncing between my parents' and Bobby's parents' houses while Bobby completed a pediatric rotation at Kent General Hospital. It was great to spend so much time with family and to watch Lillian and Sydney play with cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I feel so fortunate to live close to both our families. I have so many friends who live half a country away from their families, and I don't think I realize how difficult that is. We were busy while we were gone! We celebrated Christmas, New Years, 3 birthdays (including mine), and we fought several rounds of illness- Lillian got pneumonia and spent the night in the ER a few days before Christmas, then a couple weeks later she got the stomach virus that was going around and threw up for 24 hours. Bobby and I got some sort of stomach bug that lasted a couple days, but we weren't throwing up like everyone else. After two more random days of running a fever, Lillian seemed to finally be done with being sick. But not me! At the end of the month I got the worst sinus cold I've ever had. I think my face would have exploded if it weren't for the OMM that Bobby did (the best thing ever!!) Thankfully, Sydney avoided most of the sick germs through it all.
Anyways, about my birthday- it was great! I have to admit that 27 seems a little old (the odd years always do, for some reason- I don't know why). The day before, my dad took me and Sydney on a walk at the nearby Arboretum. It was a little chilly, but very refreshing to be outside. We bundled Sydney up so her eyes were barely showing, but when she fell asleep we covered those, too! Then we spent about an hour in the local coffee shop talking about Haiti, church, life, and other stuff. Sydney slept snuggly in her car seat on the table during it all. We stayed past closing time and had to have the door unlocked so we could leave! While we were gone, Lillian and Grandma were busy baking my birthday cake and decorating the house with pink and yellow streamers and balloons. Lillian was so excited about the balloons in my bedroom and about eating my cake! She kept telling me that my birthday was on Friday when we could eat my cake! On my birthday, my mom spoiled me. She let me go out by myself to get my hair cut, then she watched both girls so I could work on a quilt (the one I've been trying to finish for almost a year now)! That night we had cake and ice cream for dinner so we could celebrate with Lillian (she helped me blow out all my candles!) then we left with friends to go out for a real dinner. It was a fun day!
Bobby just finished his February rotation in ob/gyn at Lankenau Hospital. He was surprised at how much surgery there was and he had some interesting experiences. Next week he starts psychiatry at an inner-city hospital, which should also be interesting! I've vamped up my efforts to lose a few pounds and firm up my loose just-had-a-baby muscles. :) I'm trying to make it to the YMCA 3 days a week for pilates and kickboxing, in addition to crunches at home and cutting down on snacking and eating late at night. We'll see how it works!
I know I've been rambling on forever now, about stuff that no one probably cares about, so thanks for sticking it out to the end! Phew! I shouldn't let so much time go by again...it takes a lot to catch up!
Lillian hit the 2 1/2 year-old mark on January 23 (just one day after my 27th birthday, which we'll get back to in a moment). She can't wait to be 3 years old so she can go to preschool (or "pwe-kool" as she calls it), just like her best friend Lydia. She reminds me several times a day that she's 2 years old, just in case I forgot, I guess! Then she says, "I be three on my next birthday, like E-ya (aka Lydia). I go pwe-kool like E-ya!" We saw Lydia this afternoon right before she left for her preschool. After we walked her to her car and went into our house, Lillian got really sad and she said, "I want to be three." I told her that I was happy that she was 2, it's a good age to be. As hard as the terrible two's can be on both of us, I don't want my little girl to grow up too fast. The thought of having her gone all day in preschool is enough to make me want to play kitchen set and doctor kit with her all day long just so I can enjoy the time while I have it with her. I've been debating about what to do in the fall when she'll be 3 and could go to preschool. As far as I understand, the Head Start program would be free, but they're all-day, Monday-Friday. That seems like too much for a little one who just turned 3. A friend has offered doing a shared pre-school teaching sort of thing where we would switch off every other week teaching a lesson a few times a week. That could work for the first year, I think. Then when Lilly is 4 I might be ready to ship her off to "real" preschool. I'm afraid she'll be disappointed with "home school pre-school," though. Do you see how this little 2 1/2 year old already runs my life?? :)
Over Christmas break Lillian practically potty trained herself. She now wears big girl underwear and is very proud of it. She still has the occasional accident (like peeing on the floor in nursery during church. I didn't have a change of clothes for her, so she had to go through the rest of church wearing only a shirt, a borrowed pair of underwear from a friend, and her tights that she thankfully wasn't wearing when she piddled on the floor. Aaah, that was a proud Mommy moment for me...). Anyways, I'm very proud of Lillian and the progress she's made. I ask her a lot if she has to go potty and I always emphasize that she should tell me or another adult when she has to go so she won't have an accident, so all day today she kept telling me, "Mommy, you tell me when you have to to potty, ok? Mommy, you have to go potty?" I had to keep telling her no, that I was fine! She's a fire pistol of energy, from the minute she wakes up until the second before she falls asleep at night (and she's starting to outgrow her afternoon naps, darn it!), but I love her a ton, even when I don't have the energy to keep up with her.
Sydney is my sweet little smiler. If she's not sleeping or eating, she's smiling and laughing. The biggest thing that gets her going is when Lillian jumps out and surprises her and starts laughing in front of her- that cracks her up every time! She's already 5 1/2 months old, and she's growing so fast! She's developed so much in just the past few weeks- grabbing her toes and putting them in her mouth, reaching for everything, rolling over (and over and over), responding to her name and other voices, and she's even started eating some fruits! She had a well visit a few weeks ago, and she weighed in at 12 lbs, 9 oz and was 23.5 inches long. That puts her in the 25th percentile, which is much bigger than Lillian was- such a relief for Mommy!
Around Christmas time, Sydney and I started having trouble with breastfeeding. She didn't seem to be satisfied during or after most feedings and she was fussier than normal during the day. By January I was supplementing with formula to make up for what I couldn't provide. I tried everything I could to increase my supply- I chugged fennel tea, drank tons of water, took more naps, pumped after every feeding, and tried to be less stressed (hah, like that ever works!). Luckily, we were staying with family, so they were able to help me. But when we returned home to our normal routine at the end of the month, I couldn't hold on any more. Sydney wasn't happy and neither was I because each feeding was so stressful. I cried the night that I realized I couldn't breastfeed any more, but after the next day of going formula-only (with a few scant ounces that I was able to pump), Sydney was so much happier, and what a relief that was! We're both feeling much better about the whole thing, and I feel like I've bonded with her more than ever over the past few weeks. I love how her eyes crinkle in the corners when she smiles- just like her Daddy!
Enough about the kids- what about us adults? We spent half of December and all of January bouncing between my parents' and Bobby's parents' houses while Bobby completed a pediatric rotation at Kent General Hospital. It was great to spend so much time with family and to watch Lillian and Sydney play with cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I feel so fortunate to live close to both our families. I have so many friends who live half a country away from their families, and I don't think I realize how difficult that is. We were busy while we were gone! We celebrated Christmas, New Years, 3 birthdays (including mine), and we fought several rounds of illness- Lillian got pneumonia and spent the night in the ER a few days before Christmas, then a couple weeks later she got the stomach virus that was going around and threw up for 24 hours. Bobby and I got some sort of stomach bug that lasted a couple days, but we weren't throwing up like everyone else. After two more random days of running a fever, Lillian seemed to finally be done with being sick. But not me! At the end of the month I got the worst sinus cold I've ever had. I think my face would have exploded if it weren't for the OMM that Bobby did (the best thing ever!!) Thankfully, Sydney avoided most of the sick germs through it all.
Anyways, about my birthday- it was great! I have to admit that 27 seems a little old (the odd years always do, for some reason- I don't know why). The day before, my dad took me and Sydney on a walk at the nearby Arboretum. It was a little chilly, but very refreshing to be outside. We bundled Sydney up so her eyes were barely showing, but when she fell asleep we covered those, too! Then we spent about an hour in the local coffee shop talking about Haiti, church, life, and other stuff. Sydney slept snuggly in her car seat on the table during it all. We stayed past closing time and had to have the door unlocked so we could leave! While we were gone, Lillian and Grandma were busy baking my birthday cake and decorating the house with pink and yellow streamers and balloons. Lillian was so excited about the balloons in my bedroom and about eating my cake! She kept telling me that my birthday was on Friday when we could eat my cake! On my birthday, my mom spoiled me. She let me go out by myself to get my hair cut, then she watched both girls so I could work on a quilt (the one I've been trying to finish for almost a year now)! That night we had cake and ice cream for dinner so we could celebrate with Lillian (she helped me blow out all my candles!) then we left with friends to go out for a real dinner. It was a fun day!
Bobby just finished his February rotation in ob/gyn at Lankenau Hospital. He was surprised at how much surgery there was and he had some interesting experiences. Next week he starts psychiatry at an inner-city hospital, which should also be interesting! I've vamped up my efforts to lose a few pounds and firm up my loose just-had-a-baby muscles. :) I'm trying to make it to the YMCA 3 days a week for pilates and kickboxing, in addition to crunches at home and cutting down on snacking and eating late at night. We'll see how it works!
I know I've been rambling on forever now, about stuff that no one probably cares about, so thanks for sticking it out to the end! Phew! I shouldn't let so much time go by again...it takes a lot to catch up!
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