This was Lillian's lunch time prayer today:
Dear Heavly Fodder, thank you eating wunch, thank you Charlotte, thank you getting pwesent for her, thank you watching Ratatouille, thank you Daddy at school, thank you I miss him. Name of Jesus Kweist, Amen.
Bless her little heart.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
The Castle on the Hill
Dear Tasha,
I drove past Overbrook High School today. It was this month two years ago that we drove all over Philadelphia together, trying to get you enrolled in school. I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that I wanted you in the best school possible. I have to admit that I got very frustrated. I felt like I was on a wild goose chase, not knowing which way to go or even where I was.
I didn't understand a lot of things.
I didn't understand why you said you were supposed to be in 10th grade, but all of your records said you were in 9th grade. I didn't understand why you denied going to a particular middle school that was listed on all of your transcripts. I didn't understand why you had to go to the neighborhood school that had dismally low test scores, horrible attendance rates, and frequent suspensions.
I didn't understand why you were enrolled in kindergarten a year late, then held back to repeat kindergarten a second year- making you two whole academic years behind your peers. I didn't understand how you managed to make decent, passing grades throughout elementary and middle school, while going in and out of the foster system, dealing with abuse, and changing schools every few years. I didn't understand how anyone could give up on you or not want the best for you.
I still wonder about all of those things. I will probably never know the real answer to most of them, which I tried to come to terms with when you were living with us. Instead of dwelling on your past and everything I had no control over, I tried to focus on your future and how I could help.
Eventually, we managed to get you into a different school. Mostly because of Bobby's adamant determination to change things and my endless worrying about your education. The school was new. The teachers were educated. It made us feel better. You didn't like the uniform or the mascot. But you did like the laptop they gave you (except for the bright orange bubble case it came with), and some of your teachers. It still wasn't the best education, but it was by far the best option under those circumstances.
I could go on forever about this. Instead of rambling, though, I'll just get to the point of why I feel like I need to get all of this out- I still worry about you and the quality of education that you're getting. A few nights ago I had a dream about you. (I dream about you a lot, but I'll save that for another time). In the dream, we were talking. It felt like I hadn't seen you in a long time and I was very happy to be with you (and for some reason your hair was in a weird short style- nothing like the long braids you usually had- but that's not relevant). Anyway, you were telling me that, since you moved, you hadn't been able to get back into Arise Academy where you went last year. You were having trouble getting into a new school. You were getting frustrated by it and were about ready to give up on it and not graduate. I tried to convince you how important it was to go to school and graduate and how it would be impossible to do anything with your life if you dropped out. I hugged you tight, and while I cried on your shoulder, I begged you not to give up.
By now you would be telling me not to get all mushy, mushy on you. :) I'm sorry that I care so much. :) In the last note you gave us, you said that you were advanced to the 12th grade and that you wanted to go to medical school like Bobby. You are capable. Don't let anyone deter you from your path. Bobby and I will always be here- encouraging you, pushing you, and expecting you to do your best.
love,
Amanda
I drove past Overbrook High School today. It was this month two years ago that we drove all over Philadelphia together, trying to get you enrolled in school. I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that I wanted you in the best school possible. I have to admit that I got very frustrated. I felt like I was on a wild goose chase, not knowing which way to go or even where I was.
I didn't understand a lot of things.
I didn't understand why you said you were supposed to be in 10th grade, but all of your records said you were in 9th grade. I didn't understand why you denied going to a particular middle school that was listed on all of your transcripts. I didn't understand why you had to go to the neighborhood school that had dismally low test scores, horrible attendance rates, and frequent suspensions.
I didn't understand why you were enrolled in kindergarten a year late, then held back to repeat kindergarten a second year- making you two whole academic years behind your peers. I didn't understand how you managed to make decent, passing grades throughout elementary and middle school, while going in and out of the foster system, dealing with abuse, and changing schools every few years. I didn't understand how anyone could give up on you or not want the best for you.
I still wonder about all of those things. I will probably never know the real answer to most of them, which I tried to come to terms with when you were living with us. Instead of dwelling on your past and everything I had no control over, I tried to focus on your future and how I could help.
Eventually, we managed to get you into a different school. Mostly because of Bobby's adamant determination to change things and my endless worrying about your education. The school was new. The teachers were educated. It made us feel better. You didn't like the uniform or the mascot. But you did like the laptop they gave you (except for the bright orange bubble case it came with), and some of your teachers. It still wasn't the best education, but it was by far the best option under those circumstances.
I could go on forever about this. Instead of rambling, though, I'll just get to the point of why I feel like I need to get all of this out- I still worry about you and the quality of education that you're getting. A few nights ago I had a dream about you. (I dream about you a lot, but I'll save that for another time). In the dream, we were talking. It felt like I hadn't seen you in a long time and I was very happy to be with you (and for some reason your hair was in a weird short style- nothing like the long braids you usually had- but that's not relevant). Anyway, you were telling me that, since you moved, you hadn't been able to get back into Arise Academy where you went last year. You were having trouble getting into a new school. You were getting frustrated by it and were about ready to give up on it and not graduate. I tried to convince you how important it was to go to school and graduate and how it would be impossible to do anything with your life if you dropped out. I hugged you tight, and while I cried on your shoulder, I begged you not to give up.
By now you would be telling me not to get all mushy, mushy on you. :) I'm sorry that I care so much. :) In the last note you gave us, you said that you were advanced to the 12th grade and that you wanted to go to medical school like Bobby. You are capable. Don't let anyone deter you from your path. Bobby and I will always be here- encouraging you, pushing you, and expecting you to do your best.
love,
Amanda
Little Steps
The record stands at three. That's how many steps Sydney has taken unassisted before losing her balance and falling over or deciding that was far enough and plopping down on her diaper-padded bottom. She took those first little steps tonight when Bobby and I were bribing her with a little toy doctor kit to go back and forth between us (she had been carrying the bag around with her all night long- it's currently one of her favorites). I think she'll have the walking thing down before her first birthday in three weeks. Between this new mode of transportation and her tooth coming in, I'd say it's been a big week for the little girl!
(She has also been climbing on EVERYTHING. Over the couch, up the back of the yellow Fisher Price chairs, up the box onto the kitchen set, on the rocking chair, on the toy lion, up the side of Lillian's bed to get into it.....everything. She either wants to peek out the window, or she wants a better view of what's going on below. Her acrobatics are going to give her mom a heart attack.)
(She has also been climbing on EVERYTHING. Over the couch, up the back of the yellow Fisher Price chairs, up the box onto the kitchen set, on the rocking chair, on the toy lion, up the side of Lillian's bed to get into it.....everything. She either wants to peek out the window, or she wants a better view of what's going on below. Her acrobatics are going to give her mom a heart attack.)
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Toothless No More!
Bobby made a monumental discovery tonight- Sydney is FINALLY getting her FIRST TOOTH!! After 11 1/2 months she decided it's about time she be able to bite into something instead of gum it into a mushy mess. The baby pearly white is the top front right tooth (sorry to all the dentists, I don't know the official position name), and it looks like there might be more coming, too.
So she'll have at least one tooth before her first birthday after all. You go girl.
So she'll have at least one tooth before her first birthday after all. You go girl.
Monday, August 9, 2010
We Miss Our Neighbors
Because there's nothing like an early Monday morning, watching the trash truck go by from your bedroom window with your best friends. :)
We miss you lots!! We can't wait til next week!
We miss you lots!! We can't wait til next week!
Friday, August 6, 2010
The Big 0-3
Lillian turned three a couple of weeks ago so it's about time I told you about it. Apparently, 3 is a magic number. Lillian can now do everything by herself. Any time I try to help her with something like put on her shoes or wash her hands she says, "Mom, I can do it by my own! I thwee!" Today she asked me to help her lock the baby lock on the kitchen cabinet. Before I could get to her, she figured it out. She turned to me and said, "I got it! I thwee." That explains it all.
Being three also makes a difference when you go to the dentist. Six months ago Lillian kicked and screamed when they tried to take pictures of her teeth and we had to practically hold her down while they cleaned her teeth and fixed her cavity (which I'm ashamed to say she had, but I blame it on her bad teeth genes). This week she had her 6-month check-up and she was a champ!! She sat in the chair all by herself and played with the chair up/down button. She chatted with the hygienist and the dentist and she even let them use Mr. Thirsty (remember him?!). Wow, what a difference six months make.
I'm still waiting for the three-year-old magic to kick-in in the temper tantrum department. That's one area where we haven't seen any progress yet. Oh well.
To celebrate the special day, Grandma B, Mommy, and Sydney took Lillian to the Crayola Factory in Easton, PA (it was a hike, but worth it!!).
So many crayons!!
There was also a free Canal Museum that was lots of fun.
The tiller made the floor rotate, simulating a boat.
It was Lilly's favorite part of the museum.
When we got home we had Lillian's favorite foods for dinner- flower noodles with butter, shrimp, edamame, cheese, and olives (she has such refined taste).
Then she tore into her presents.
We sang Happy Birthday, she blew out candles, and we all enjoyed some birthday cupcakes.
We couldn't get enough of birthday festivities, so on Saturday we had a little birthday party. There was more cake and ice cream and lots of birthday fun.
Happy Birthday, Big Girl!!
Being three also makes a difference when you go to the dentist. Six months ago Lillian kicked and screamed when they tried to take pictures of her teeth and we had to practically hold her down while they cleaned her teeth and fixed her cavity (which I'm ashamed to say she had, but I blame it on her bad teeth genes). This week she had her 6-month check-up and she was a champ!! She sat in the chair all by herself and played with the chair up/down button. She chatted with the hygienist and the dentist and she even let them use Mr. Thirsty (remember him?!). Wow, what a difference six months make.
I'm still waiting for the three-year-old magic to kick-in in the temper tantrum department. That's one area where we haven't seen any progress yet. Oh well.
To celebrate the special day, Grandma B, Mommy, and Sydney took Lillian to the Crayola Factory in Easton, PA (it was a hike, but worth it!!).
So many crayons!!
The tiller made the floor rotate, simulating a boat.It was Lilly's favorite part of the museum.
When we got home we had Lillian's favorite foods for dinner- flower noodles with butter, shrimp, edamame, cheese, and olives (she has such refined taste).
Then she tore into her presents.
We sang Happy Birthday, she blew out candles, and we all enjoyed some birthday cupcakes.
We couldn't get enough of birthday festivities, so on Saturday we had a little birthday party. There was more cake and ice cream and lots of birthday fun.
Happy Birthday, Big Girl!!Thursday, August 5, 2010
Tacos
Dear Tasha,
We had tacos for dinner last night. It reminded me of you because tacos were your favorite thing to have for dinner. It was one of the first meals we had together; you stuffed yourself with six whole tacos and had a stomach ache afterward. Later you told me that the reason you like tacos so much is the conversation they create around the dinner table- there are so many toppings sitting all over the table, that in order to get what you want, you have to ask, "will you please pass the ____" and, "could you pass the ____ please." This interaction and passing around of food was appealing to you. I always thought that was endearing.
Little things like this remind me of you on a daily basis. I'm not the only one who remembers. Lillian saw a blow dryer in the YMCA bathroom a few days ago. As she blow dried her hair she said, "Tasha have a pink one!" She frequently asks me, "Where Tasha? Where her bed?"
I ask myself the same questions. I wonder where you are, who you're with, how you're feeling, if you're safe....if you're thinking of me. If you know that I'm thinking of you.
I miss you.
My relationship with you made me a better person and it made our family stronger.
I wish I knew how you were doing.
No matter how much time goes by, I will always want to hear from you.
I love you,
Amanda
We had tacos for dinner last night. It reminded me of you because tacos were your favorite thing to have for dinner. It was one of the first meals we had together; you stuffed yourself with six whole tacos and had a stomach ache afterward. Later you told me that the reason you like tacos so much is the conversation they create around the dinner table- there are so many toppings sitting all over the table, that in order to get what you want, you have to ask, "will you please pass the ____" and, "could you pass the ____ please." This interaction and passing around of food was appealing to you. I always thought that was endearing.
Little things like this remind me of you on a daily basis. I'm not the only one who remembers. Lillian saw a blow dryer in the YMCA bathroom a few days ago. As she blow dried her hair she said, "Tasha have a pink one!" She frequently asks me, "Where Tasha? Where her bed?"
I ask myself the same questions. I wonder where you are, who you're with, how you're feeling, if you're safe....if you're thinking of me. If you know that I'm thinking of you.
I miss you.
My relationship with you made me a better person and it made our family stronger.
I wish I knew how you were doing.
No matter how much time goes by, I will always want to hear from you.
I love you,
Amanda
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